Author has 162 answers and 1.5M answer views How can the silent treatment back fire on the narcissist? Narcissists will do everything they can. The narcissist discard can be even more confusing. Sure as anything, what is prompting your need to know are the red flags coming thick & fast, and you feel more confused & anxious than ever. The silent treatment shifts to become a discard through the period of absence. It will never be. You werent around enough, so I got tired of waiting on you. When a narcissist feels exposed, they instantly feel threatened. Eventually, you got mad, and that definitely didnt make me like you more than I did before. If you are no longer supplying what they need, theyll discard you. Given a childhood in which the vulnerable narcissist was devalued and discarded by primary attachment figure (s), the NPD individual grows up associating pain with love. Thats all the more reason for them to do this is to show people that youre crazy. Thus being a partner of a covert narcissist your relationship goes under a roller coaster ride of jealousy.. distrust.. lack of loyalty etc. Many narcissists have a whole circle of Its a thousand times easier for me to function, when Im not thinking about where the hell you are. 2. Less Hoovering. Once a person is depleted, they will ditch them without a backwards glance and move onto the next victim. Just as the name suggests, ghosting is a disappearing act. when narcissist discard backfires. Unlike typical narcissists, covert narcissists have extreme fight or flight reflexes, and when The central motivator for narcissists is validation and an ex is often a really interesting place to get it . A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narcs ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply. Mothers of their children, doesnt matter. Without empathy and a conscience, they will do, say and pretend to be whatever they need to, purely to extract supply from others. The intent behind going No Contact vs. using the silent treatment and ghosting is all in the drivers and the outcomes. Youre the terrible person for turning against them. 7. To discard means to throw away something (or someone) thats no longer useful. If you notice that they are talking more to other people, or they are spending more time out of the house then this might be evidence that a new supply has arrived. They hold themselves immune to the consequences of their actions (or inaction) and, therefore, beyond punishment and the laws of Man. Excellent notion, please hold firm and stay away. Narcissists are nothing more than little kids stuck in a human body empowered by the devil. If youve been discarded by a narcissist, its important to understand that its not about you. And they do it in a very bad way. Heres the deal gorgeous one. A further way of determining whether this period of absence is a silent treatment or a discard is to consider what has happened in the run up to the period of absence. Thus in simple more than the love, your entire love life starts filling with fear, embarrassment, and guilt. If you have ever been discarded, it can feel personal. 4 They tend to use people to prop up their sense of self, often due to a deficiency of parental affection in childhood. Your intelligence is now seen as cunning, your attractiveness is now overzealous, and your wit and humor are now vulgar. When a narcissist plan backfires.. after no contact The Narcissist will always come up with a plan to punish you. The difference between a typical breakup and a discard is that during a normal split, both parties are generally sad. The narcissist discard can be even more confusing. The narcissist will smear your name to your friends and family and possibly tries to take a head start in doing so. The so-called supply is the food for the narcissists ego. In the context of a relationship, it is the ultimate form of degradation. 2. Answer (1 of 6): Yes, it is very effective to drive them nuts. This approach conveys: you have no value to me. This post will answer seven questions related to being discarded by a narcissist (the-7-answers-i-desperately-needed-after-the-narcissistic-discard) and what to do next. In your mind, everything was going along swimmingly when out of nowhere, the narcissist became disenchanted with the relationship. Looking up signs the narcissist is preparing to discard you, is your biggest sign that this is whats going down. Without any previous warning signs or indications that you are about to be discarded. No, sorry. Once a person is depleted, they will ditch them without a backwards glance and move onto the next victim. A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narcs ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply. Take the high road and tell the truth; dont talk badly of your adversary unless its absolutely necessary.. Fathers of their children.. They constantly need that fresh narcissistic supply . The second sign is affection stops. Its not even the loss of their job, their position of power (though it does sting to lose that, too). While a narcissists main source of narcissistic supply usually comes from one or more people, it can also involve pets, groups of people, and more. Its intentional. The greatest punishment for a narcissist isnt the loss of love by any family member or friend. Narcissists objectify people. The proverbial ball and chain you are to the narcissist has never been heavier. Occasionally a narcissist will act like they regret leaving if they were unable to find anyone better than you. Without empathy and a conscience, they will do, say and pretend to be whatever they need to, purely to extract supply from others. Like a vampire, they need someone new upon which to feed. 5 They think of others as objects to discard when theyre no longer useful. 7. This post will answer seven questions related to being discarded by a narcissist (the-7-answers-i-desperately-needed-after-the-narcissistic-discard) and what to do next. They dont see you as a sovereign being. So, if you can protect yourself try to, try to go. They will literally use every little thing theyve ever done for you to keep you trapped. The anxiety and the absolute sadness that I felt at the discard was incredible and not one that anyone at any time should ever have to experience especially after doing nothing wrong which is par for the course when one partner is a narcissist. Answer (1 of 17): There are many ways and reasons for the narcissist to discard their partner. When You Discard First Once the narcissist has completely broken you down and you can no longer fuel their ego, they will discard you. The narcissist is simply moving on to someone else who they can dominate and control. It is natural for those who have suffered discard to wonder if a narcissist ever regrets their decision to throw us away. Narcissists feel entitled to money, power, and honors incommensurate with their accomplishments or toil. Debunking the Narcissists Smear Campaign. 1 Most discards are the beginning of the triangulation phase. when narcissist discard backfires. Hoovering is reusing old supplies; it is the tactic narcissists use to pull their victims back into their drama after devaluation. Its about how you make them feel. Most often they will attempt to charm you and shower you with flattery. They kind of know what an ex's supply is like and they might need their old supply during transition time . Narcissist final discard. When the Silent Treatment Ends: Beware the Hoover. See, abusive relationships with a narcissist rely on an idealization-devaluation-discard cycle which enables the narcissist to degrade their victims and discard their victims without any accountability whatsoever. They are as starkly contrasted as night & day. Publicado em 28 de maio de 2021 por . It is sudden & unexplained. Its not about you. Narcissistic defenses (like all defenses) operate unconsciously, says Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles and author of A break-up with a malignant narcissist is characterized The silent treatment can back fire on the narc when they have used it one too many times and push you too far, when you have finally had enough of being treated so badly that you leave. Reasons for Narcissistic Discard Narcissistic relationships generally follow predictable patterns, and the breakup is referred to as the discard, the dictionary definition of which is getting rid of someone or something no longer useful or desirable.. Countering the Smear Campaign is very difficult. A hoover is anything that They know the effect this has on neurotransmitters like dopamine. Somehow, running a smear campaign provides the narcissist justification as to why we were never worthy of their presence to begin with. Without any previous warning signs or indications that you are about to be discarded. When you discard the narcissist first, they will sneakily hoover you back in, just to keep you there on the hook. It's like giving punishment. They want you upset, pining for them, waiting for contact from them. Gets more ego boost expecting the love after silent treatment: Beleive me it feels like a treat to the narcissist when he/she comes back If a covert narcissist decides to leave you, they may leave you for a quite long time, but later, they try to get back in touch with you. The narcissist sees people as objects they use to meet their needs, and to discard when the person no longer serves a purpose for them. It doesnt matter if youre the mother of their children. The core issue is that the narcissist is inherently incapable and unwilling to establish an emotional connection and attachment to the partner. and the narcissist isnt really done with you yet. Still confused. Narcissists discard people like toxic waste Some tips easy to write much more difficult to accept, let alone put into action: Rise above it dont dispute it, narcs have already anticipated this and have the antidote. Narcissists are prone to magical thinking. They keep you in parking lot in case their new supply backfires . Ghosting is a strategy used to discard you when the narc decides your supply no longer meets their needs. To outsmart a narcissist, the first step is to become very aware of the trap theyve put you in. These traits make the narcissist popular, as they boost the ego of their target. So if you do not follow that narc script they cant cope. The Narcissist discard phase is often the final phase in the relationship. Narcissistic discard can be absolutely devastating, leaving the victim feeling confused, hurt, and rejected. Focus on what you can deal with, and not what you cant. Go grey rock. One is an act of self-protection & self-preservation and the other an act of punishment & manipulation. I got bored, so I started keeping you waiting. Narcissists are prone to magical thinking.